Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex, 

You have explained that you lied to your parents about something, and that they are now punishing you a lot. You also ask how to solve this argument. 

We are sorry to hear things haven’t been going well for you. It seems you felt the need to lie to your parents and now you are facing the consequences of dishonesty. There are different reasons why you could have lied such as to avoid getting in trouble, to avoid embarrassment about something they’ve done that could make them look foolish, to protect or defend their friends who might be in trouble, to cover up their emotions because expressing their feelings might make them look immature or uncool, to earn admiration from their peers by deceiving their parents, to make themselves look better by embellishing or exaggerating things or to assert their freedom and independence from the authority of their parents and teachers. Whatever your reason was, we understand in that moment you believed it was your only option. 

Although, lying is always tricky and can lead to unpleasant situations. Lying can put you in double-jeopardy, once for the thing you are trying to cover up, and once for the lies you tell in covering it up. It complicated things. Just one lie can lead to many more lies. Not only do they become hard to keep up with, but they also can cause anxiety. A person who lies a lot lives in constant fear of being exposed, and that just can’t be fun. By lying you also reduce your chances of being trusted with big things – like driving the car, going to parties, etc. – later on in your teenage years. 

It can also result into a lack of trust from the people that were lied to, they can feel betrayed. They can feel hurt by the fact you didn’t trust them to tell them the truth. It seems your parents could be feeling like that. It could help to let them know why you lied and ask for their support on how to act if you ever feel like that again. It could also help to let them know you are sorry for breaking their trust and that you are willing to do things differently from now on. Sometimes professional help can be a great support, especially if you are experiencing anxiety or any other signs of mental health distress. 

We hope this helps in approaching the matter! If you think talking to someone could help a bit more, remember you can always call Childline, 24-hours a day, 365 days a year. You can contact them through the free number 1800 666666 or through the Live Chat in our website www.childline.ie . 

Take care, 

Alex