Alex's Answer

I have thoughts about being kidnapped and raped

Your Question

So I had this thing since I was 10 about being kidnapped and rape I don’t know why I always think about it but I need help because If anyone wanted to actually rape me i wouldn’t want it

Answer

Welcome to Ask Alex. 

Thank you for using this space to put out your deepest thoughts and feelings, you are being very brave. You have mentioned that you have “since the age of 10 thoughts about kidnapped and raped, but that in reality you would not want this to happen” is that right?  

It sounds like this is something that occupies your mind and you don’t want it to, that must be very hard. Firstly, it is important to know that it is normal and healthy to be curious about sex especially when going through puberty, which for everyone is at a different ages and stages in their life. There are studies that have shown that thoughts and fantasises around in your situation kidnap and rape can occur out of guilt avoidance. What this means is that when come from a background or upbringing where talking about sex is frowned upon, having thoughts about “rape” may help us experience sexual exploration without carrying the guilt or shame of engaging in an act that others may look upon as “dirty”. It is really important to know that you are not alone in this and this can help ease the worry around having this thought which may in turn reduce the amount of times you think about it.  

It can always be useful to talk to someone you trust but we understand that this can be difficult when discussing this something this personal to you that you are struggling with. That is not to say that you cant talk to someone about it, we have a 24hr freephone service where you could speak it through with an adult over the phone. The number is 1800 66 66 66 and you can use web chat if that is more comfortable for you by pressing the purple circle on the www.childline.ie website. There will be someone who is ready and willing to listen, support and not judge what is going on for you at any stage in your childhood/teenage years. The more that we put our words, thoughts, feelings out there the less control they have on us. The more we challenge and really take a deep look at it, the better we will understand it and the greater we can manage it and support others.  

We really hope that some of the above information can help you in journey. You have been brave in putting your question out there so please continue to be brave and question anything you need to understand better. 

Look after yourself, 

Alex. 

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