Alex's Answer

Hi there, thank you for contacting Ask Alex.

 

You speak of the thoughts that your friends may not like you. Having said so, would we be right in thinking this is also affecting how you are feeling?

 

There are several reasons why you might be having these feelings. First, we would need to find the root cause of these thoughts and be assured of where you stand in your friendships. There can be no place for doubt because it opens a window for anxiety to creep in and causes you to second guess something that is not really happening.

 

A moment of doubt in your friendship may arise out of the blue with no apparent triggers; it may be the result of a previous interaction with friends, or it may be the result of some pent-up emotions. In either case, it usually leads to negative thoughts about your sincerity and your position with the people you care about. You say that it’s difficult for you to fight these thoughts. Try to keep in mind that this emotion has to do with how people relate to one another and ourselves. Similarly, hold on to the truths of your relationship. For instance, “we became best friends on (insert date)” is a fact about each of you. This article discusses recognising how we feel and think and how to handle difficult emotions and demonstrates some steps to handling thoughts that can produce negativity for you: jigsaw.ie/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/School_Staff_Reconnecting_With_How_We_Feel_Jigsaw_FactSheet.pdf

 

Have you given any thought to asking your friends whether they do like you? Talking to your friends about how you are feeling can be a helpful strategy for dealing with these thoughts.

 

You can always contact us here at Childline if you would like to chat a bit more about what is happening to you right now. We offer a free, confidential, and non-judgmental listening service and would love to chat through this some more with you. You can contact us for free by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat at childline.ie

 

We look forward to chatting with you; please take care of yourself.

 

Alex