Pat's Answer

To Pat / 28 September 2020

I feel helpless

Your Question

I feel really helpless.I feel like I have no control of whats happening around me.I tend to get very anxious when things dont go a certain way or a certain order.Im not a perfectionalist but I just like to have control over what Im doing.My parents and siblings call me controlling and I dont know how to deal with it.I feel like im not able to talk to anyone about it because im not allowed to have social media or have my friends phone numbers.Im not allowed to go out with my friends unless its my birthday or i did something really good.Im always talking to me self and I find it hard to consentrate or and tend daydream too much.Im not sure what to do our who else to talk to.Im afraid if my parents find the hotline number on my phone they will think im looking for attention

From Pat / 10 October 2020


Hi welcome to Ask Pat,

Thank you for contacting us today. There seems to be a lot going on for you right now. I am getting that you have feelings of being helpless, feelings of anxiety and that you would like to be in control of what is going on for you, whilst on the other hand it sounds like your parents have rules around Social Media and you contacting your friends. You are also concerned for you, as you are finding it hard to concentrate and that you are talking to yourself and you are daydreaming. 

If we look at you as a person and your feelings and worries, it seems that you are struggling a little with who you are. Know that everyone is unique. We all have different needs and things going on for us at different times. It sounds like you are aware of what is going on for you, which really is a great start. It is ok to feel how you are feeling. It is ok not to understand what is going on. It is ok to ask for help. If you can take a look at the websites and they may be of help to you in finding some answers. It is always important that you get any information from a trusted source. There are also some articles on our Childline website that you might like to read and

Remember, you have the right to be listened to and to be heard and to be happy. You also have the right to get medical help if you require it. Is there a trusted adult that you can share all of this with? Talking to someone can be really good for us. If you feel that you cannot talk to your parents straight away, would there be an aunt, uncle or teacher that you would feel comfortable talking to? When you talk to the adult about your feelings and what is going on for you, they may be able to support you further, particularly as you are concerned with your concentration and daydreaming. When you feel ready, sharing how you are feeling with your parents might help them to understand more about what is going on for you. Is there one parent that you find that you can communicate better with? Would there be a time that you can spend with that parent on your own, where there are no distractions or interruptions? We know taking this step in opening up to your parents can be a hard thing to do, and it can take a lot of courage.

Remember Childline is always here for you, so that you do not have to go through this on your own. There are other ways for you to get in touch if you are afraid that your parents will find out about you phoning us. Our text service is 50101 and there is also the web chat which you can access at Childline offer you a safe place to talk. You are not judged; your feelings will be respected, and you can share everything you wish with us. We do not trace phone numbers or IP addresses, so it is a confidential place for you. We are open all day, every day. There will always be somebody here to chat with you.

 You have done brilliant in writing all of this down and sharing it with us. I hope you find the information will help you a little. We would love for you to get in touch with us soon, so that you can begin to move on with your life.

Take care and stay safe, 


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