Alex's Answer

Hi, and welcome to Ask Alex. 

We would like to start by thanking you for trusting us with your thoughts and worries. You have made a very positive step today, opening up and speaking about what is going on for you. This is not always an easy thing to do so well for that.  

You feel like you always get forgotten and you don’t know what to do. That must be really hard on you and we are sorry to hear you feel this way. It’s tricky not knowing how to change things or where to go for help. I think an important word you have used here is “feel”. Can you think of a time when you have been forgotten? Who is it that you feel has forgotten you? Have you avoided doing certain things in the past that perhaps have led people to think that you may not want to be included? Take a little time to think about these questions and what the answers are for you.  

It can be very lonely when you feel like you are left behind or out of activities and events that you enjoy. Sometimes we can fall into the trap of not trying to change things or accepting that we won’t be considered or asked to do certain things, but not anymore. You are a strong and powerful individual; we all are deep down, sometimes we just need a reminder. From your question it seems like you don’t want to be forgotten, you want to be involved and seen! A way to start this might be to look at your confidence, do you stand tall and use your voice be heard? If not, let’s get started on boosting your self-belief. If you are low in confidence, why not act like you’re the most confident person in the world and see how that feels. Examine yourself and pick the best traits you have – perhaps start with things you like in others that you see in yourself – and use these to create a positive image of yourself. Consider the things those close and important to you appreciate about you; what compliments have you been given throughout your life? Trying something new can be empowering – this can be something small like a different way of styling your hair to something bigger like joining a club you have always had interest in. Remember to be kind to yourself and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Take the time to notice when you have done something well and praise yourself for doing that. Focusing on and developing your positive traits will help you to be more assertive and chances are, you will be more willing to arrange an outing of your own with those around you. Your views, your opinions, your thoughts matter: YOU matter! Surround yourself with people who trust, respect and value you as you are. You deserve to be happy, healthy and included. Do not ever forget that.  

Speaking with a trusted adult can be incredibly helpful. Believe it or not, they may have gone through something similar in their life. They may be able to offer support and advice for dealing with your feelings of being forgotten. This can be anyone from a parent to a teacher etc., whoever you feel comfortable with that will take the time to listen and help you. Sharing the load can make it easier to carry and it may enable you to look at different techniques and ways to try resolve the issue.  

If you are not yet ready to discuss it with your trusted adult, you are most welcome to talk to Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text to 50101, or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is here for you anytime and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The services are free and confidential. We are non-judgemental, and we will not tell you what to do. We can help you explore what options may be available to you.   

We hope this information has helped you in some way.  

Look after yourself,   

Alex.