Alex's Answer
I feel empty for no reason
Your Question
Hi Alex,  I keep feeling empty for no reason out of nowhere and it feels like I will never have a purpose. It feels like I’m not smart or pretty or talented or good at sports or anything. I also hate the way my body looks. I hate that my waist isn’t small enough and taht I have big thighs. Sometimes I feel alone. My best friends are R and D (not using their real names) R is my closest friend but recently D seems so much closer. My Dad is at work a lot and it sometimes feels like I will never be enough for my mum. I’m not going through a crisis this is just a rant thanks for listening 🙂Â
Answer
Hi there and thanks for contacting Ask Alex!Â
You mentioned how there is an emptiness in your life and that it has affected most aspects of your life such as your friendships, family relationships, your relationship with yourself and with your image. It sounds like you are describing an existential feeling that relates to mental health called emptiness. Â
Feeling empty for a moment can spur from nowhere or it can be quite frequent with no identifiable triggers, and it usually produces contents in our thought process such as a lack of love in one’s life, a lack of self and a lack of purpose. You mentioned that it has affected your sense of self and brought feelings of low self-esteem and not being enough in terms of looks or talents. Try to remember this feeling touches on how we connect with ourselves and the world around us and will firstly target the areas you mentioned earlier, and this would be its earliest symptoms.Â
It is important to speak with a medical professional in terms of body images and the body type that is most suitable for you. They should also include nutritional advice and a weight plan, if this is needed for you. The HSE recommends seeing a pediatrician, dietician and more. You can find more information here www2.hse.ie/conditions/childrens-weight/). You could also speak to your GP with parental consent, who will be able to find the right support for you.Â
Knowing whether you are experiencing loneliness as a side effect of emptiness is crucial, since in some cases, this isolation might leave you physically cut off from others. This link here might help explain: spunout.ie/mental-health/self-care/loneliness.Â
You mentioned that D is feeling a lot closer to you despite R being your closest friend, this can happen depending on multiple reasons such as being in similar situations or having similar feelings shared and similar general interests. Likewise, in terms of your parental situation it can be tough when you feel this way. Being able to share how we are feeling with loved ones is important but sometimes not possible, having a chat to understand the other person is often the greatest first step one can take. Here is an article from the Childline website about family relationships which you may find helpful www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/. There are also many posts on friendships too, www.childline.ie/friends/.
There is a team here at Childline who are prepared to listen to you whenever you’re ready to express your ideas and feelings. We are accessible every day of the week, round-the-clock. You can reach us over the phone at 1800 66 66 66 or online at www.childline.ie, just click on the orange Live Chat tab. You can have a chat about what the next steps are in your life journey.Â
Thanks again for reaching out and we are always here to listen, you are not alone.Â
Alex