I don’t like myself very much
Hi Alex, my surroundings and social media have been making me feel sad and unhappy in myself, like my body and my personality, this has been going on for a couple of months now. Iv realised that I don’t like my personality or the way that I act. Iv been told that I’m self centred and selfish, I think I was told this because I’m starting to push away loved ones. I’m only 14 and I’m already having mental health issues and all of these negative words are building on top of that. I’m really confused because I have a good life I have friends and people to talk to, I just don’t like myself at all. Some days I will be fine and some days I can bearly get out of bed. I think all of this is very unhealthy as I’m still young and my character is still developing and I don’t like myself. I just sometimes feel so isolated from everything. I’m really tierd and drained I need somone to talk to and some advice. What should I do?
You are very welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for taking the time to contact us with your question. We think you are very brave to do this.
From what you’ve said, it sounds like you are feeling sad and unhappy in yourself lately and that you believe social media and your surroundings play a role in the way you feel. You have also said you feel confused because you have a good life and have friends you can talk to and that you recognise you are pushing people away and that at times, you feel isolated from everything. Firstly, this shows us that you have a good level of self-awareness and the ability to reflect, and these are terrific qualities to have so you can be proud of yourself for this.
Secondly, keep in mind that social media can have both positive and negative impacts on people. It’s good to know that not everything you see on social media or on the internet is true and there are so many tools people can use to edit their images. Do you think reducing the amount of time you spend on social media might help with the way you feel?
You have mentioned your surroundings are having an impact on your self-esteem too. We aren’t too sure what you mean by this, but remember as a young person, you have the right to be safe and respected. Each one of us is unique in our own way, and this is true of our bodies and our personalities. It’s a positive thing that we aren’t all the same, the world would be quite a boring place if we were! It can be a good idea to take the time to identify and focus on the things we like about ourselves and our bodies, and to work on not comparing ourselves to others.
Our mental health is very important, and it is so important that we take the steps needed to sustain our wellness. Have you heard about the concept of resilience? Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversities that we may face in the course of our lives. Here are some basic things that we need in our daily lives in order to build a foundation of resilience and to maintain our wellness;
- A good night’s sleep; using a mindfulness app can help with trying to settle racing thoughts.
- A balanced approach to food; what we eat directly affects how we feel.
- Water; keeping hydrated can help reduce feelings of tiredness.
- Being outdoors; natural sunlight and fresh air can help to lift our mood.
- Movement and exercise; exercise can release feel-good chemicals in our brain that boost our mood and energy levels.
Sometimes speaking with a trusted adult can be helpful. They may be able to offer support and advice for dealing with your feelings around what is going on for you right now. This trusted adult could be a parent, teacher, aunt, uncle, etc., whoever you feel comfortable with and that will take the time to listen and help you.
If you are not yet ready to discuss it with your trusted adult, you can always talk to Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text to 50101 or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is here for you anytime and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The services are free and confidential. We are non-judgemental, and we will not tell you what to do. We can help you explore what options may be available to you.
Look after yourself,