Alex's Answer

I don't like being a girl

Your Question

I don’t like being a girl. It’s not that I want to be a boy or that I’m nonbinary. When I was younger, I was feminine, but now that I’ve grown up, feminine stuff is not really my thing. I hate how my body looks. I just wish that my body looked like a guys, but I don’t want to be one. U don’t want to talk to anyone about it, but it feels like I have to. I’ve always hated having a chest and I always like wearing baggy clothing. Even in the summer, I always wear hoodies to cover up. Today, I decided to wear a tank top, but that just made me feel worse about how I look. The worst part is, I have a rather…. feminine body type. Every girl in my class is feminine, or at least acts like a girl. I’m scared to act more masculine in front of them in fear of being judged or made fun of. Some of my friends still make fun of me or tease me for being masculine. I hate it, but I’m scared they’ll think I’m “sensitive” or “weak”. Sorry that this is so long, I just had a lot going on. 

 

Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for getting in touch. You have been very brave to contact us. 

You mentioned that you do not like being a girl, but it is not that you want to be a boy or that you are non-binary. You wish your body looked like a guy but you do not want to be one. You mentioned that you always hated having a chest and always liked wearing baggy clothing. You said that you decided to wear a tank top today and it made you feel worse about how you look. You said that you are afraid to act more masculine in fear of being judged.  

It sounds like you are uncomfortable about your body, and particularly your chest. It also seems you may be a little confused about your identity. Sometimes it can take young people time to feel comfortable with their bodies, to feel good about themselves, or just to figure things out. Your feelings are understandable, and we are glad you decided to reach out. It is a brave thing for you to do.  

We would encourage you to talk to someone about your gender identity and body image. We realise it can be difficult or awkward to talk with someone close to us about what is going on. Sometimes it might be easier to talk to somebody that we do not know. We all need support in relation to what is going on for us and you have the right to get support too. Maybe you would like to chat more about your feelings with us here in Childline? We would love to listen to you, and you are welcome to call us anytime. 

Have you heard of the websites www.spunout.ie and www.belongto.org ?There are lots of articles on these websites which may be helpful to you in clarifying some questions you may have around your gender identity. This organization supports the LGBTI+ community and maybe linking in with them might be a good starting point for you. www.lgbt.ie is another service where you may find help from others who have travelled a similar journey to yours. There is some information on the Childline website too, which you may like to look at www.childline.ie/gender-identity/.   

At Childline, we are focused on you and what is important to you. You can contact our 24-hour listening service through our free phone service; the number is 1800 66 66 66. Alternatively, you can chat with us through our webchat service by clicking on the purple Messenger circle at www.childline.ie. Your conversations with us are confidential and safe, we do not use caller ID nor IP addresses, so your contact is anonymous. 

Take Care,  

Alex 

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