Alex's Answer

I don't get along with my dad and stepmother

Your Question

I’m 17. i lie in NY…for years i have been dealing with my narcissistic stepmother and my father doesn’t do anything about it. They won’t let me start work nor have they allowed me to get my permit..anytime i bring up college they shut it down and tell me i’m not going. when we’re arguing and I ask for a reason on something they just say “because i said so” or “im the adult your the child” instead of communicating with me…anytime i mention communication they say “your the child you dont have rights until your 18″. I’m done with it. I have places to go but Ik their going to call the cops on me if i leave can they legally bring me back to the house? and can i legally move out rn?

Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex. 

Thanks for reaching out with your question, it sounds like you’re going through a tough time at the moment, and we know it can be difficult to talk, so thanks for getting in touch. 

You say that your stepmother and dad won’t let you get a job, get your permit and are telling you that you can’t go to college, is that right? And you ask about what rights you have? 

In Ireland, every young person has rights, even if they are under 18 years old.  As we are Irish based, we are unsure of the law and legal rights for young people in New York.  There are some websites that might help you such as cccnewyork.org/childrens-rights-in-new-york-city/ or www.childrensrights.org/our-impact.  Have you been able to look up support services in your area that you could speak to for advice? 

Are you able to speak to anyone else about what’s happening at home and how you are feeling?  Sometimes talking to an adult, you trust can be really helpful.  Maybe you have a teacher, sports coach or family member who you would feel comfortable talking to.  They can listen and help support you and find the right services that will help you with your situation. 

You can of course use our web chat service at www.childline.ie if you would like to talk about some options you might like to explore. Click on the orange Live Chat button and send ‘hi’ or ‘hello’ and one of our facilitators will be there to chat with you. While we may not know where to signpost you for guidance and legalities, we can support you by listening to you around how you are feeling and what you are thinking. 

We wish you all the best, take care, 

Alex 

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