Pat's Answer

I don’t feel like I belong in my own household. I always get the blame for things.

Your Question

I don’t feel like I belong in my own household. I always get the blame for things. And get shouted at. If my brother does something like scream, whilst my mother is sleeping, I tell him to be quiet and I give him a lil spank. And he just ends up screaming more to annoy me and I get really upset cuz my singe mother is having a hard time and I want her to rest. And then she comes in a few seconds later and starts getting angry at me and doesn’t give me time to explain. And I have to share a rom with my 4 year old bro. Which is a pain. And me and him do not get along – we hit each other, scream at each other and always fight. But I take the blame, even if he started it, because “I’m older”.

Answer

Hi there, you are very welcome to Ask Pat.    

Thank you for contacting us. We understand that it’s not always easy to share our worries and concerns, but we also know how important it is to talk about how we are feeling. 

You have said that you don’t feel like you belong in your household and that you always get the blame for things. You have also mentioned that you and your brother do not get along, but you share a room together. You feel like he starts screaming just to annoy you and this makes you feel upset as you are trying to look out for your Mum.  

It sounds like you are doing your best to look out for your Mum by trying to let her rest, so it’s understandable that you would feel upset when she gets angry at you and doesn’t give you time to explain. Also, it’s important for you to remember that just because you are older than your brother, you don’t have to take the blame for something you didn’t do, as this can be very frustrating and upsetting for you.    

You have a right to be happy in your home, and to have a sense a belonging there. You also have the right to live in an environment where you are respected and treated fairly. Have you thought about chatting to your Mum about how you have been feeling at home lately? We understand that sometimes it can be difficult to talk to a parent about our thoughts and feelings, so sharing your experiences with somebody you feel comfortable talking to outside of your immediate family might be a good place to start. This trusted adult can be a grandparent, aunt, uncle or a teacher.  

The Childline website has some articles which you may like to look at: www.childline.ie/how-i-feel/; www.childline.ie/home-and-families/; www.childline.ie/your-rights/ 

You have the right to talk about your feelings and to be heard. How would you feel about contacting Childline for a chat? Feel free to get in touch with us at any time. You can call us on 1800 66 66 66, text us on 50101 or chat to us online at www.childline.ie. All our services are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week which means we will always be here to listen to you.  

Thank you for reaching out to us. 

Take Care, 

Pat 

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