Pat's Answer

I can't seem to stop self-harming

Your Question

I’ve been harming for a while now but I’m young.I started it after a friend told me she did it and she stopped but I can’t seem to do the same . There’s nothing particularly bad about my life but it all feels so fake and I feel lonely because i onl really have one friend .n. And she doesn’t care about the cuts. I’ve reached out to ppl but they didn’t really care either. Sometimes I want to kill myself . Im scared one day someone will find out. What should I do ? 


Hi there, you are very welcome to Ask Pat, 

You have been very brave to contact us. You are telling us that you have been harming yourself and that your friend was harming herself also, but she has stopped. You are saying that you cannot seem to be able to stop even though things in your life are not bad. It sounds like you really want to stop because you say you have reached out to people, but they do not seem to care.  You also mention that sometimes you want to kill yourself. This is such a lot for you to have to deal with. 

It is perfectly understandable that you are experiencing feelings of loneliness when there is so much going on for you in your life right now. You are also sacred but to be able to acknowledge these feelings is very brave of you. 

We would be very concerned that you have been harming yourself, and that you have thought about killing yourself. You have the right to get help and support for what is going on for you. This help and support can come from family members or medical professionals like doctors or counsellors. You do not ever have to be alone while you are going through such difficult times.  

Is there an adult that you would feel comfortable talking to about what is going on for the real you and not the fake you? Sometimes it can be really helpful to talk to somebody who knows us. Other times, it is easier to talk to somebody who does not know us.

You may find some useful information on the following websites:;; These are organisations who deal with people who are in situations like yours, self-harming and feeling low about themselves. You may also find some articles on the Childline website useful. There are some on self-harming and others on friendships .

The other Childline services are here for you too 24-hours a day, every day. Childline never closes. Childline is here to listen, support and help you to explore the options that are available to you. You can phone us free at 1800 66 66 66. If you would prefer to text us for free, you can do so at 50101 or you can contact us online at for a webchat. 

Remember, you do not have to be sad on your own. Childline is here for you. Thank you for contacting us here at Ask Pat today and we wish you well and hope to hear from you soon.


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