Alex's Answer

Hi there, 

Thanks so much for getting in touch with us here at Ask Alex. It sounds like there is so much going on for you at home right now with your parents. You say they are horrible to you, have hit you, threatened to abandon you and gaslighted you, and you feel they treat your siblings better than you. You used to trust your mother, but you don’t feel you can anymore, and you also don’t want to be taken away. You’re wondering what you should do or if you are in immediate danger. 

Firstly, immediate danger could be described as a situation where a person is in danger of being harmed very soon, or at any moment, or a situation that has a high risk of causing harm to someone. Do you feel like this is a situation you are in? If you ever feel like you are in an emergency situation like those described above, we would encourage you to call the Gardaí on 999 or 112 and tell them you are feeling unsafe. 

We also want to say that no one has the right to hit you, threaten you or gaslight you, no matter who they are. You deserve to live in a home where you feel safe and comfortable and can live a happy life, free from harm. You mentioned your siblings, how do you get on with them? Would they be someone you could talk to? (Depending on their age, as we are not sure how old they are) 

It sounds like you are keeping some evidence of what has happened, like the photos of your bruises. We believe what you are telling us, and you have the right for your voice to be heard and believed. What would you think about keeping a journal? If you feel like there isn’t anybody in your life you can talk to right now, it could be a safe space for you to get things off your chest. You could also use it to document things that happen with your family, what was said and how it made you feel as well as helping you work out your thoughts around what you want to do next, and what you think would be good options for you. 

You mentioned about being afraid of being taken away. Túsla is the organisation in Ireland that is responsible for the safety and welfare of children and young people. There is a website called Changing Futures (www.changingfutures.ie), which was created by young people who have experience of Túsla services. You can read about some of their perspectives, and there is also an option for you to get help there if you wish, or simply to ask to talk to someone who may be able to provide support for you and your family. Social workers are also part of Túsla’s service that support children and young people who may not be feeling safe. This link lists the social work teams across Ireland, and how to contact them https://www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/duty-social-work-teams/   

We know it might be really daunting to reach out to someone like a social worker, but we are always here for you at Childline too, 24/7 every day. If you want to talk about what’s going on, and maybe try and explore some of the options you think you have, and what you might say, we would love to hear from you. Our service is completely private and confidential, so it is a safe space for you to speak freely. You can contact us on our chat service on www.childline.ie (by clicking the live chat button on the right-hand side of the screen) or call us on 1800 66 66 66. 

You have the right to get help and support with what is happening to you at home and perhaps by looking at some of the resources we have suggested, it will help you to explore the support options you have and decide what you want to do next. 

Thank you again for getting in contact with us, we wish you all the very best and hope to hear from you soon. 

Take care of yourself, 

Alex