Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.   

Thank you for reaching out to us with your concerns. 

You are asking us how you should end a talking stage; you do not want to break Y’s heart although you are currently with X. Would we be right to assume that you are telling us that you are in a love triangle, and it is early in the relationship? 

It can be tough when relationships tend to be off-again/on-again, (that is when a pair break-up then reconcile) because this is frequently the period when a pair may meet someone new or be persuaded to do something they hadn’t intended to.  As you mentioned, you had broken up with X when you started talking to Y but after you two hit it off and he confessed he liked you, you and X reconciled, and are now back together. It appears that when you chose to be with X, you indicated that you had already made up your mind, and now it is up to Y to realize that you made your decision.  

When letting someone down or rejecting their confessions to you, some useful tips include thanking them for having the courage to tell you and to express how much you appreciate it and then kindly, let them down by making it clear what you have decided. What do you think of this approach? There is an article here which addresses the questions surrounding being in a relationship, spunout.ie/sex-relationships/relationships/commitment-problems .It is important to be honest with Y and to tell them how you feel. In case this could be an anxiety-inducing occasion, there is an article on the Childline website which addresses coping with stress/anxiety www.childline.ie/stress-and-anxiety/.  

Remember that if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life right now, you may always call Childline at 1800 66 66 66 to chat about what is happening to you. Every day of the week, we are available. We also offer a 24-hour web chat service at www.childline.ie, just click on the orange Live Chat tab.  

We hope you have found this helpful. Best regards, 

Alex