Alex's Answer

Hi there, thank you for sending your question to Ask Alex. We’re glad you were able to get in touch. 

It sounds like you recently moved schools and you’ve found it a struggle to make connections with new people and to build new friendships. This must be tough for you as it sounds like there is a lot of change going on in your life at the minute. It can be overwhelming when you need to adjust to a new school environment, new teachers and of course, new peers. It’s okay to be feeling this way, a lot of people of all ages find it challenging to make friends when they’re in a new environment.

You mention the word ‘new’ which sounds like you already have friends that you’ve made before; have you thought about how you managed to make those first friendships in the past? Maybe thinking back to when you built other friendships might help you come up with ideas on what you could try this time. These articles on the Childline website might be useful for you too: https://www.childline.ie/do-you-struggle-to-make-friends-here-are-a-few-things-that-might-help/; https://www.childline.ie/making-friends/. It might also be helpful for you to try maintain the friendships you may already have, if that’s an option for you. Having someone you know you can confide in, even if it’s by phone or social media, might help you feel supported and less alone or lonely. 

Friendships can be hugely important in people’s lives and can often be made by having things in common, such as where you live, go to school or shared hobbies and interests. Would you consider joining clubs, committees or sports teams – something you would enjoy – at school? That may be a good first step towards forming new friendships at your school. Also, if you’ve moved to a new area, looking into joining clubs or pursuing a hobby in your new community might enable you to meet people too. 

If this is something you feel you might need help with, there are people out there who can listen and support you in this. Have you considered talking to a trusted adult about this? Examples of trusted adults may be someone like a parent/guardian, auntie, uncle, grandparent, older cousin or older sibling. Or perhaps you might feel more comfortable talking to a teacher or your school counsellor. Talking to someone in your life could be a way for you to openly express your thoughts and worries about making friends and maybe this person has ideas that you might not have considered before, so it could be worth a try. 

It might feel lonely sometimes if you are finding it hard to socialise and are trying to adjust to changes in your daily life. It’s important to remember you’re not alone in this, Childline are always here to listen when you need to talk about whatever is on your mind. If you ever feel like chatting to us, you are very welcome to call anytime on 1800 66 66 66 or you can also use Childline’s text service by texting 50101 or to contact us online, visit www.childline.ie and you can register there to chat with us. All of our services are free, available 24 hours a day and are confidential and non-judgmental.  

Hopefully this reply will be helpful to you and please know you’re welcome to contact us again if you need to talk. 

Take care, 

Alex.