Pat's Answer

I am a psychopath, sometimes I just want to die

Your Question

I’m a Psychopath. Once in third class I drew a very violent picture I regret it so much. Sometimes I want to die would the world even notice If i waz gone would my family .I feel like a murder even tho i haven’t killed anybody. I had gory thoughts to cope with my anger or sadness..I have no fruends to speak to. I got bullied cause of the colour of my skin and cause of my weight and I told my mom but the bully decided to lie to her and my mother beleived her over me. I would really apprieciate it if you reply and can find this on the Ask Pat page. Thank you, God bless

Answer

Hello, many thanks for contacting Ask Pat. 

It sounds like you have a lot going on for you now. You have been very brave to reach out to Ask Pat, and to share your thoughts and feelings, well done. 

You say you are a psychopath, and you regret a violent picture you drew. Sometimes you want to die, and you wonder would your family or anyone notice you were gone. You also say you feel like a murderer and have gory thoughts on how to cope with your anger and sadness. You say you have no friends and get bullied for your appearance. When you told your mum she believed the bully over you. 

From what you say, your feelings are really affecting your thoughts. It is understandable you are finding this difficult to deal with alone and you have the right to get help around how you are feeling and help with dealing with your emotions. It is always okay to ask for help when things feel overwhelming, and you are scared about the thoughts you are having. You mentioned that you told your mum about the bullying, but she did not believe you. We know that it takes a lot of courage to speak to someone and open up about what’s going on. We are sorry that your mum did not believe you and give you the support that you rightly deserve.  

All these thoughts and feelings can be difficult to manage on your own, and it is important for your own mental well-being that you get help and support and find out why you are having these thoughts. You have a right to professional help, like talking to your doctor or to a counsellor, to share about wanting to end your life and the other thoughts you are having. Your life is very important, and you have the right to live it and be happy and safe. You have the right to be listened to and to be heard.  

www.pieta.ie; www.jigsaw.iewww.yourmentalhealth.ie are all organisations which support young people who are going through what you are going through. They may help you understand what is going on for you or they can offer you a direction in how to avail of other supports. The Childline website has some information too which you may like to look at www.childline.ie/how-i-feel/; www.childline.ie/bullying-abuse-safety-and-your-rights/www.childline.ie/home-and-families/. 

You are very welcome to talk to the Childline Team by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text on 50101, or through web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our services are free, non-judgmental and confidential. Childline is here for you whenever you would like to talk or chat, and we really would love to listen to you. Childline offers you the space to talk about whatever you choose. You never need to have a problem to get in touch with us, but we are here for you then too. We will explore what options are available to you, and you can come back to us as many times as you feel you need to. 

You are not alone, we in Childline are always here to listen and we would love to talk or chat to you about what is going on. 

Take care of yourself, we hope to hear from you soon, 

Pat 

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