Self-esteem usually refers to how we view ourselves and most importantly, the value we place on ourselves as a person.
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If someone asked you to describe yourself in five words, what words would you use? Would they have more to do with how you look or your personality?
Low self-esteem occurs when you judge yourself harshly and have a negative opinion of yourself as a human being. For example, a person with low self-esteem might say: ‘I can’t follow this film – I must be really stupid’.
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Learned Behaviour
Nobody is born with low self-esteem, it is something that is developed and learned through our environment and experiences.
Low self-esteem might begin by you having had negative experiences in your life which influences how you see or place worth on yourself.
If you see yourself in a poor light, it is likely that you have made some negative conclusions about yourself and these can become negative core beliefs.
Then, if placed in a high-risk or high-stakes situation – like handling a family crisis or going for a big interview – these beliefs can make you extremely self-critical, leading you to indulge in negative thinking and expecting that things will not work out well for you.
The good news is, you can start changing that mindset today and start to build a higher level of self-esteem. Here are a few things you can do:
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- Commit to making an effort to recognise and address any unhelpful thoughts of behaviour
- Focus on the present moment and choose your actions consciously rather than thinking about what has happened in the past
- Write it out – physically writing out the way we feel can help identify negative thought patterns and therefore, figure out how to change them
- Talk to yourself as if you are talking to a loved one or best friend
- Develop a ‘beginner’s mind’ – Try to look at things as if you’re seeing them for the first time. This will help you develop new relationships with things rather than responding with the same old patterns of behaviour
- Consider doing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). This type of therapy is specifically aimed at changing unhelpful thinking patterns and beliefs
- Practice self-compassion. By showing yourself love and gratitude, you will start to accept yourself as you are while still appreciating the efforts you are making to improve your self-esteem.
