Pat's Answer

To Pat / 25 May 2019

Topic: How do I come out to my family as gay?

Your Question

Hey Pat
how do I come out to my family as gay. For the past two years I’ve known and I told my sister and a few of my friends but I just don’t know how to tell my parents and granparents because I’m very afraid my whole family will judge me and especially since I really like this girl in my class and want to ask her out but I don’t even know if she likes girls aswell.
I would really appreciate some help.

From Pat / 24 July 2019


Hi there,

You’re very welcome to Ask Pat. It seems like you are struggling with opening up to some of your family and peers about the fact that you’re gay. It sounds like telling your parents and grandparents are important to you. Also you’ve been thinking about asking out a girl in your class and are uncertain about how to go about it.

Your sexual identity is a part of what makes you unique! So far, you’ve been open with your sister and friends about being gay. This seems like a big step in the direction you’re looking to go. There can be different stages in the process of coming out and it’s important you do this at your own pace. Can you think of any little ways to help yourself to feel as comfortable as possible while telling your parents and grandparents?

In your email you mentioned there is a girl in your class who you would like to ask out, but you’re not sure if she likes girls. It’s important that you can feel free to be who you are. It’s normal that you may feel afraid or nervous about opening up to the girl you like, and you’re not alone in feeling that way. If you wanted to contact Childline, we could go through some of the possible options for you. You might also be interested in having a look at the organisation ‘BelonG To’, who support young people who identify as LGBTQI+.

You can call Childline on 1800 66 66 66 (24 hours a day), text Childline on 5010, or chat with Childline online on this site. Thanks for being brave and writing to us. Take care.

All the Best,



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