Alex's Answer

Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex.

 

You are asking us what to say when confessing to a guy. It seems you really like a boy, and you are trying to find the right words to tell him. Are there any right words, though, we wonder?

 

We believe the most important thing is that you are following what you feel, which seems to be letting him know the way you feel about him, either to release the tension building up in your chest when you two meet and/or to see if he feels the same way. What to say depends entirely on how you feel and what you would like him to know.

 

It can be challenging at times to put our thoughts in order when we are feeling anxious about what to say and how to word it. We find a good way to tick all the boxes could be following the 4 principles of non-violent communication: observation, feelings, needs, and requests. How would it look like in your case? It could be something like this:

 

“(I see) We are spending a lot of time together, and we are having fun. We seem to be getting closer as days go by. (I feel) I feel happy when we meet and so comfortable. Sometimes I feel like holding your hand, getting closer. I think I like you more than a friend. (I need) I need to let you know how I feel, as I have been holding on to this for a while, and I wonder about if you feel the same way. (I request) I would love to hear what you think about this.”

 

This way of communicating puts all the focus on us, using “I messages,” giving us the chance to express ourselves, at the same time that we do not expect anything from the other person, apart from what we are asking them for, our request. In that way, it is easier for the other person to feel comfortable about answering back, avoiding pressure or judgment.

 

We hope this helps in guiding you on what to say and how to say it!

 

Remember that if you need someone to listen to you, you can reach out to Childline at 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat on our website www.childline.ie. We are open, 365 days and nights of the year, we never close, so there will always be somebody here to listen to you. 

 

Thanks for stopping by,

Alex