Alex's Answer

How do I stop becoming attached to people that show me any affection?

Your Question

How do I stop becoming attached to people that show me any simple affection 


Hi there, 

You are very welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you for taking the time to contact us with your question. We think you are very brave in doing this. 

From what you have told us, it sounds like you feel you get attached to people when they show you any type of affection. Attachment is an emotional connection that we form with others. It is natural to feel attached to certain people, especially people we care for and those who are kind to us. We can also feel attached to places, maybe because we have made happy memories in that place or our pets because they often cheer us up when we are sad and help us feel less lonely at times.  

It can be helpful to take some time to think about what it is that you are feeling attached to; is it a certain type of person or is it perhaps the way that person makes you feel? Maybe you haven’t had much attention and affection in your life so when you are shown instances of this, you latch on because it makes you feel taken care of and valued. That’s a completely understandable reaction if you have experienced a lack in this area before. 

Sometimes speaking with a trusted adult can be helpful in making sense of our feelings, thoughts and experiences. They may be able to offer support and advice for dealing with what is going on for you right now. This trusted adult could be a parent, teacher, aunt/uncle, etc., whoever you feel comfortable with and that will take the time to listen and help you.   

If you are not yet ready to discuss it with your trusted adult, you are most welcome to talk to Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text to 50101 or through our web chat on Childline is here for you anytime as we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The services are free and confidential, and we are non-judgemental and we will not tell you what to do. We can help you explore what options may be available to you.     

Look after yourself,     


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