Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

We understand that it can be difficult to talk about what’s going on for you so well done for reaching out to us.  

It is normal to not get on with your family. As we grow, the relationships in our life can change.  This can be particularly difficult in families. As our relationships change, this will often result in our roles changing too.  Sometimes, when we feel that a relationship has become strained, distanced, or damaged it can be difficult to say how we really feel.  But it is important for us to say how we feel and what we need from the relationships around us. Especially, you feel that there was something that happened that has led you to feel that the relationship with your dad is ‘damaged’.  

If you have a difficult or strained relationship with your parents or carers it can feel overwhelming, isolating, or scary to go about trying to change the relationship.  Do you have a trusted adult, relative, teacher or coach that you could turn to support both you and your dad to rebuild your relationship.  

This person could help to support you to have this conversation with your dad.  There are certain things that we need to be mindful of when having difficult conversation: 

• Be careful of what you say and how you say it.  

When our emotions are high and our feelings are hurt, we can say nasty or hurtful words that we don’t mean.  We can also use a tone of voice that is aggressive or dismissive.  When we do this, the conversation may turn into an argument and the strain in the relationship can become deeper.  

• Pick your time wisely.  

Because these conversations can be difficult to have, it’s important that we approach them when both people are feeling calmed and supported. This way we can be truly open to what the other person has to say.  

We have some articles on our website that you may also find helpful: www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/ ; www.childline.ie/reconnecting-with-your-parents-or-siblings-after-a-fight/.  

If you would like to talk to someone more specifically to support you to have this conversation, you can contact us by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or by webchat at www.childline.ie by clicking on the Orange tab to start a chat. All our services are free, confidential, non-judgemental, and available 24-hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Take Care of yourself,  

Alex.