Alex's Answer

Hello, 

Thank you for getting in touch with Ask Alex. You are wondering how to help someone going through hard times.  

We can all go through hard times in our lives, whether that’s in school or college, our relationships with our family, our mental or physical health, a break-up or our relationships with our friends. It sounds like you are a very caring person who wants to help support the person in your life with what they’re going through. 

Here are some suggestions on how to care for someone going through hard times 

• Ask them how you can help 

Everyone has different ways of getting through tough times and has different ways they want to be supported. It may seem simple, but just asking them what you can do to help shows that you are open and listening to their needs, and you aren’t assuming you know what’s best for them. 

• Listen (if they want to talk)  

If they want to talk about what’s happening for them, you can give them the space to share with you how they’re feeling, their worries and concerns. Stay present in the moment with them, give them your full attention and really listen to what they’re saying. Try putting yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel in their situation. For tips on how to be a good listener, click here www.childline.ie/listening-to-friends/  

• Do something together 

Maybe there is something you and the other person enjoy doing together, be it watching a movie/tv show, going for a walk, gaming, or any other activity you both like. You could suggest meeting up with them and taking their mind off whatever, they’re going through for a while. 

• Look after yourself too 

It can sometimes be draining and tiring supporting someone else, so it’s important to be aware of its effect on your wellbeing too. Make sure you are taking time for yourself, and the things that you enjoy and make you feel good. 

• Reach out 

Both you and the other person (if they are 18 or under), can always contact Childline for a one-to-one chat. It is confidential, and you can talk about absolutely anything you want to. You can get in touch via the LiveChat button here on our website or on the phone (1800 66 66 66), we are here 24/7 every day. You do not have to support this person on your own. 

Thank you again for your question, we wish you the very best. 

Take care, 

Alex