Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex. 

Thanks for reaching out to us, we understand that it can be difficult to talk about what’s going on for you, so thanks for sharing. 

It sounds like you are wondering if you are a pathological liar, as you find yourself lying in the moment to strangers and to some people who are close to you, is that right? 

Lying can be a common feature of social interactions.  Sometimes we might tell ‘white lies’ to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, to avoid being embarrassed or to avoid getting in trouble, but you describe yourself as a pathological liar.  A pathological liar is someone who is someone who tells compulsive lies that do not have a clear motive or benefit. 

You say you find it fun to lie to people who are close to you, is that right?  Sometimes people lie to feel in control of the situation or conversation, to make ourselves feel more respected or to be liked. 

Some of things we can do to help stop lying is to try and notice any triggers such as who you are with, how you are feeling in the moment or where you are, to help and pinpoint any factors that may trigger telling lies. When we understand these, we can practice other responses to use, rather than lying.   

One strategy that may be helpful, is to ask yourself how would you support a friend, who is struggling with the same thing?  What would you suggest to them and try to practice this yourself.   

You could also try chatting with an adult you trust, about how you are feeling at the moment.  It can be really helpful to speak to a parent, teacher or youth worker who can support us with how we are feeling and to get the help we need. 

Talking to someone can also help you figure out any triggers you might have.  We are always here to listen to what’s going on for you, and you can contact us by phone on Free Phone 1800 666666 or through live chat on https://www.childline.ie/.  Childline is a non-judgmental and confidential listening service and we would really like to chat to you more about this.   

Hope this helps,  

Alex