Alex's Answer

Forced to be her girlfriend

Your Question

Last year a girl a year older than me forced me to be her girlfriend, I think she sexually assaulted me and took advantage of me. She used to send me pornography and make me send her pictures of myself that I didn’t want to, and then when we met up once she forced me to kiss her and kept grabbing my chest and between my legs. She said it was stuff girlfriends did but she never asked if I was ok with it and now I feel weird about sex. I want to do it but I’m 12 and the age of consent is 17, what am I supposed to do? 

Answer

Hi there, thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex.   

It’s very brave of you to contact us; we know it’s not always easy to talk about things that have happened to us.  We are so sorry to hear about this experience and we would be concerned for your wellbeing.  

Your safety is very important to us, and we are sorry to hear of what you went through. It is never okay for someone else to touch another or expose them to pornography or request pictures of them.  

Because of your age it is against the law, and this deeply concerns us.  It is essential to us, that you get all the right supports.  In Ireland you must be 17 years or older to be able to consent to engage is sexual activities.  

Please see this article with more information on consent www.ispcc.ie/what-is-consent/.  

It’s important to know that you have done nothing wrong. Everyone deserves to feel safe, protected, and free from harm and abuse. Please see below articles for more information: 

If  you ever feel you are in immediate danger or harm, you can contact emergency services on  999  or  112  from any mobile or landline, free of charge.  

Do you have an adult in your life who you trust and feel safe with? Could you tell them about what has happened? They can then help support you and guide you to the next steps to take. We feel it is important, as this is a big burden for you to carry and if you can let an adult know, they can help you through this. 

It is your right to report what happened to you to the Gardaí. This article may also be helpful to you and/or the adult you trust in telling www.hotline.ie/

If you feel you are not ready to talk to somebody you know just yet,  you can contact us at Childline through our free phone service. The number is 1800 66 66 66, and there will be an adult here to listen to you in a safe space and help explore your options with you.. At Childline we are focused on you and what is important to you. You can also contact Childline for a webchat by clicking on the purple Messenger circle at www.childline.ie. Both services are open 24-hours a day, every day.

We are proud of you for reaching out to us as we understand that it was probably not an easy thing for you to do. 

Wishing you all the best,  

Alex 

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