Alex's Answer

Everybody hates me

Your Question

I feel like everyone hates me. No one wants to be friendly and if they do they just leave me out or gossip about me. 

Answer

Hello and welcome to Ask Alex,
 
Thanks for reaching out and sharing what is going on for you. It is so important that we have an outlet where we can link in and speak about things that are troubling us. It is not easy to talk about what we are finding hard so having the time to write it out and get support with it can help build us up to talking. It is important that we feel supported in all areas in our lives.  
 
We’re sorry to hear that you feel like “everyone hates you.” That’s a terrible feeling to have. If others don’t want to be friendly or include you but instead gossip about you, it reflects more on them than on you. True friendships are mutual and inclusive. This means that those who are true and good friends, will accept you as you are and include you in things they are doing, as you would do for them. People who as you said above “leave you out or gossip” do not sound like true friends. Have you considered trying to link in with or chat to anyone else outside of the people you are talking about above? Find people with similar interests as you. It is scary and hard to put yourself out there and talk with or get to know other people. We often cling on to friendships that are not always right for us or that we have grown out of because we think it is easier to stick with them rather than put ourselves out there to meet new friends 
 
Feeling like everyone hates you is a negative thought pattern that can prevent you from connecting with others. Start by being positive towards yourself. Challenge those negative thoughts and question why you feel this way. Asking others, like parents, siblings, or friends, what they like about you can help break down these negative views and reveal you are LIKEABLE!
 
In letting go of the negative thoughts you will find it easier to reach out and make a connection with people who are a right fit for you. We can often jump to thinking that we are the problem but sometimes the people around us are not the right fit for us. By realising that, we can go on to find the right fit. If a friendship is all effort and making you feel negatively about yourself, think, is it the right one friendship for me? 
 
It’s important to realise that sometimes the people around us are not the right fit for us, and that’s okay. If a friendship feels like all effort and makes you feel negatively about yourself, consider if it’s the right one for you.
 
Discussing your feelings with supportive people in your life can also be beneficial. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with, have the conversation, listen to the advice they have; you never know they may have gone through similar when they were younger. Carrying it on your own will only make it harder for you. 
 
If you feel you don’t have a person to talk to or you aren’t ready to speak with them yet, you can reach out to our Childline team. You can contact us for free at 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat at www.Childline.ie. The team will listen and guide you to finding the right path for you. It’s a 24-hour,confidential service that you can contact 7days a week, whenever you want to talk.
 
Take care of yourself and keep reaching out for support.
 
Best regards,
Alex
 

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