Alex's Answer

Dad makes me uncomfortable

Your Question

My dad makes me extremely uncomfortable. He always ignores my boundaries, he tries to kiss me on my body and is constantly finding excuses for watching me change, whether that be opening the bathroom door or saying he needs to “check I’m safe”. He always makes weird comments to me about his sexual relationships with other women and women his age, but he makes even more about younger girls aged 18-20, my dad is almost 55. He gets very angry whenever I tell him no or I don’t want to do something, I think the weirdest thing my dad has done so far is when we were looking through old photos of me and my brother as babies, a few photos came up of me completely naked, photos looked like they were taken in a bathroom so I was probably bathing in those images but my dad kept making really inappropriate comments on the photos like “I remember I had to wash all up your [private part] one day after the beach! So much fun!” I found it a little startling at first that my dad was so pleased and happy at getting to wash my private parts inappropriately when I was such a small baby. I’ve already contacted the police on multiple occasions about this and other situations, but the police ignore me and listen to my dad, who always fake cries and puts. 

Answer

Hi there, and welcome to Ask Alex. 
 
Thank you so much for contacting us today. We appreciate you trusting us with your thoughts. 
 
We’re truly sorry that you’re experiencing this, and we want to emphasize that it’s not okay for anyone to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. You’re showing great courage by reaching out to Ask Alex. In Ireland, all children have the right to protection and safety, and they should get help if they’re being mistreated in any way. 
 
We are really concerned for your safety and well-being. If you feel you are in any danger in your home at any time, you can contact the emergency services at 999 or 112. 
 
Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. Here, there are social workers whose job it is to make sure that all people under the age of 18 are safe. You can find your local Túsla office here: www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/local-area-offices/. You may need the help of an adult to talk to somebody at Túsla, but it is important that you know that the adults in your life have a responsibility to keep you safe and get you help if you are not. 
 
There are some articles on the Childline website too that you may find helpful: www.childline.ie/what-does-inappropriate-sexual-behaviour-look-like/www.childline.ie/what-is-sexual-abuse/
 
Do you have a trusted adult who you could talk to? This adult could be an aunt, uncle, or grandparent. We know that it can be hard to open up to someone who is close to us, so maybe talking to somebody outside of your family who you feel comfortable talking to might work better for you at first. It is important for your own physical and mental well-being that you get the help and support that you deserve. 
 
If you would like to have a chat about how you’re feeling, you can always contact us here at Childline by clicking on the Live Chat button on this website or giving us a call on 1800 66 66 66. You can talk about anything you want to, and we are here to listen to whatever you would like to say. The service is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please know that you are not alone, we are here for you.
 
Look after yourself, and please get in touch with us or another trusted person as soon as possible.
 
Alex

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