Pat's Answer

Can you be too young to be gay?

Your Question

can you be to young to be gay


Hi there, thanks for sending your question to Ask Alex. 

Growing up and thinking about sexuality can be a confusing time for a lot of young people. Who you feel attracted to and comfortable with is a very personal thing for everyone, so the age at which these questions and feelings come up for people differs depending on the individual. From what you’re saying, it sounds like you have a lot on your mind about sexuality and whether or not you’re old enough to know your sexual orientation. Some people may identify as being gay, straight or bisexual, from a young age and for others it can take longer to figure out. Sometimes feelings can change as we may become attracted to different people at various stages in our lives, and that’s okay. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, it’s all about feeling comfortable, respected/respectful and happy in your friendships and relationships.  

Feeling supported is hugely important if you have questions about your sexuality because, as mentioned before, this is often a confusing and uncertain time for young people. Maybe talking openly to someone you feel close to might be a good way of expressing how you’re feeling and getting a bit more clarity for yourself. You could think about the idea of talking to an adult in your life that you feel you could trust. Examples of trusted adults may be someone like a parent/guardian, auntie, uncle, grandparent, older cousin or older sibling. Or perhaps you might feel comfortable talking to a teacher or your school counsellor. You already took a brave step in contacting Ask Alex and if you found that helpful, maybe talking to someone in person could have the same result of helping you feel better.  

Sometimes people might feel uncomfortable discussing their sexuality with family or friends or worry that they won’t be believed or supported. With that in mind, there are a number of supports out there that young people can access. The Childline website has a lot to support young people in all areas of their lives, and we have a section specifically on sexuality that might be helpful for you to read through: BeLonG To is an organisation that supports LGBTQI+ young people in Ireland and their website might also be helpful to you if you feel you need further support: 

It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this, Childline are always here to listen when you need to talk about whatever is on your mind. If you ever feel like chatting to us, you are very welcome to call us at any time on 1800 66 66 66, or you can also use Childline’s text service by texting 50101 or to contact us online visit and you can register there to chat with us. All of our services are free, available 24 hours a day and are confidential and non-judgmental. 

We hope you found this reply helpful and that you feel comfortable to contact us again if you need to talk. 

Take care, 


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