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Thalia642June 21, 2010#1

I want to know,if I go to social services and request it, and explain the situation I'm about to explain, will I be able to go into foster care?

Have you ever felt like you're in a restricted area, and everyone's pushing you out? I get that every day in my house. Every day, if I even talk to someone for a second, I get the strongest feeling of "You don't belong"
I try to cover it up, make a few jokes, but I can't shake it. It's haunting me.

I don't go out much, I spent most of my life playing video games so I never went outside much. It was an escape, why focus on my problems when the princess is in another castle?!
Now my dad's gone a bit mental over it. He refuses to just let me stay in my room, insists I go outside. He even went so far as to take away my TV and computer. All because I like it inside.
I know other people have it worse than me but I just can't stand another minute in this house.
My mother's a drunk who wishes I was someone else, someone more like her, a gossip who spends all her time fixing her hair and talking on the phone. I'm not that girl. She tends to blame me for everything, it's like she's constantly mad at me for not being that girl.
My brother is 7 years older than me, and it just seems like he doesn't like me. He's always hitting me or arguing with me or telling me to leave. He's 23, shouldn't he have stopped with the moody teenager act? Not only that, but in an argument, he can punch, yell at and kick me,my parents won't say anything, however if I try to defend myself, without violence, I get more yelling. It's like I'm constantly having to defend in my own home.

To top it all off, not once have any of them taken an interest in me. I spend all day at the computer because my best friend, the only person I've ever felt connected to, lives in another country. She moved to the UK two years ago.The only way I can talk to her is through the internet.
What need have I go to outside when there's no one to hang out with? I have no friends living near me and even then, I'd probably be miserable and angry that I was forced out.

I feel like every time I walk outside my room, i make the whole house uncomfortable and I want to end it. I've considered running away, and after a particularly bad fight I was considering suicide. I locked myself in a room, shut the curtains and just cried for hours.

I don't want to go back to that feeling again, and I feel like if I don't leave, something awful will happen, and it scares me. Even thinking about it now I start crying.

So that's it. Now I need the answer. Do I have grounds for foster care? And if you think I do, can someone give me the information?

Thank you for reading this.
-Thalia642

ChildlineJune 21, 2010#2

Hi Thalia64,

Thanks for sending your message through to us here in Childline Online.

It sounds like there’s a lot going on for you at the moment. You said that you get the feeling every day that everyone’s pushing you out of your house and you feel like you don’t belong. It can be really hard when you feel isolated like this but you have the right to talk to someone about how you’re feeling and get support.

You mentioned that you don’t get out much and your dad refuses to let you stay in your room insisting you go outside. Sometimes people might think it could be a good thing to get out and spend time outdoors. It can be tough when you don’t see eye to eye with your parents. It can help to talk to them about how you feel during these times. It takes effort to get along and see someone else’s point of view but talking about things with your parents can be very helpful. They might be able to understand and relate to the different things you are experiencing and help to guide you through them.

You said in your message that your mother wishes you were more like her and she tends to blame you for everything. You have the right to be happy and get support. You said that your older brother is always hitting you which we would be concerned about, as no one has the right to hit you or hurt you like this. You have the right to feel safe and live in a safe and happy environment.

You talked about keeping in touch with your best friend online who has moved away, it can be tough when people who we are close to move away as it can take time to adjust to life without them being around.

We’d be really concerned that you were considering suicide. You have the right to life and to live in a happy and safe environment. You asked in your message whether you have the grounds for foster care. We wouldn’t be able to tell you this as we couldn’t be sure we were giving you the correct information.

However, the HSE has a responsibility to care for vulnerable children and young people when their parents or guardians are unable to do so. You can contact the HSE information line on 1800 520 520 and request information about foster care. This is a confidential line.

Hope this helps and feel free to contact us again by sending a private message or chatting to us online live just like instant messenger by logging into the Talk to Us part of the website. You can also text us by sending the word ‘Talk’ to 50101. We’re open from 2-10pm Wednesday – Sunday and from 6-10pm on Monday & Tuesday.

Take care.