Hi Calluml,

You’re very welcome to the message board here at Childline, this is your space to talk about whatever’s going on for you. We don’t give advice in case what we say might be wrong, but we don’t judge you either - we are always here to support you by listening.

We have edited your message slightly to make it safer to post.

It sounds like you’re finding things tough at the minute, Calluml. There seems to be a lot going on for you. We’d be worried when you write that you’ve always thought about suicide. It is important to know that you don’t have to go through these feelings alone.

You have a right to support for what you’re going through, even if it sometimes might be confusing as to where to find this support. In your message you write that you live in an isolated area, and it sounds like you might have a tough time at school. We are always here to listen to what’s going on for you when it may feel like there is nobody else you can speak to, it can be a good starting point. There are many people out there who can help you through difficult times. If you didn’t feel like talking to us about it either, there are other organisations that we can put you in touch with. Their details are on the Childline website.

It sounds like there are other areas that you are finding hard - you also say that your dad calls you an emo or gay, and that he talks to you like you’re a big let down. Sometimes as we get older, it is hard for our parents to see us for who we are; your dad might be used to having a lot more to do with your life. Even though you live in an isolated area, you probably have a lot more say now in what’s going on in your life. In your case it sounds like you use the internet for this or the people you get on with at school, and sometimes this can be hard for our parents to understand or accept. You say that your parents don’t let you get too far; it sounds like they might be worried for you. It takes a lot to see another person’s point of view, even for adults. It is wrong for your dad to call you those names, and we can imagine that it’s hurtful for you.

The internet can be very useful for learning new things, making new friends or keeping in touch with ones we don’t get the chance to see if we live far from them. You bring up another really useful part of the internet, Calluml – we might find it gives a place to express our emotions, and it’s very important that we feel we have someone to listen to us.

At the same time, not all websites are safe for children or young adults to be on. You say you are involved in something you think is called fraud, and that you sometimes change your age on these websites. If a website is asking if you are over 18, it means the website is not appropriate for your age, and there is a reason people under this age should not be on. When you’re on the internet, it’s important to remember not to give out any personal information, because you don’t always know who you’re chatting to. It’s also important to find a balance between time online and doing other things – even if it is enjoying a television show.

We don’t give out advice here at Childline, but we’d hope that by getting the chance to talk about what’s going on for you that it helps.

You have the right to be listened to and believed in what you say, as you wrote, Calluml, getting your life story out there. If you wanted to talk more about this, you could write in a private message here on Childline.ie.

The text and one-to-one service run from 2-10pm Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sun and 6-10pm Mon and Tues, by texting ‘TALK’ to 50101 or on the website again.

You’ve done a great job in writing into us this evening, and if you want, write back to let us know how you’re getting on.

Take care.